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Can addicts feel love again

My bf has been an addict for since his early 20s, now he is 42, during the past over decades, he tried to get clean by moving to another country. and he did, was clean for a few years, untill he picked up again. Not long after that he met me. it was kept away from me for years, and i enabled him financially without knowing, and we were on an off for years, untill he decided to tell me the truth, since then, i been helping him to make up mind to go rehab get help. He went back two times past two years. last time he came out was last September. I believe he not touched any heroin his DOC since then, but tried a few others, like yabba (his words), crack, and cocaine till he had a very bad pschosis attack made him finally realize, no drug is safe. so for past two month, he is in Thailand alone for his recovery as strong recovery society there. He still drinks sometimes, but no drugs. we hadn't had intimate for long time, and we did go docs for his psychosis, during the test, i know he lost drive for it and has no interest in opposite sex. 

He's been so numb for so long, can he feel love again? and how long into recovery will he be able to feel? I been by his side helping him, volunteered to be his safety net for so long, i am not even sure if he loves me and he not sure either as he not sure of any of his feeling. how pathetic is this. 

Posted: 07/16/2018 12:31 AM

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SOBER COACH
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In Response to: Can addicts feel love again

It's not pathetic. It is sad. Learning what feelings are and actually having that feeling and accepting that the feeling is okay takes patience and overcoming fear of what you are feeling. Some of this process just takes a lot of clean time, understanding from oneself and others, and possibly counseling depending on the person. But yes, one can feel and accept love and even give love if they are so inclined. 

Posted: 09/02/2018 4:24 AM

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Hi Thank you for your time to answer me, Can you explore a bit more on that pls? what it is like when not know your own feeling, or how you feel? and what it feels like in early stage of recovering. It's been four month he's away working on himself and i trust he stayed clean, but he refuses to talk about us. we even considering of split coz he thinks he's been holding me back for too long, is not fair on me since he not know his own feelings. But to me, if he doesn't care about me, it'll be a relief for me that'll i can move on. but if he does care, i won't let him just quit like that. He keeps saying he do care, and is sad i even have to ask that. but all his action when we had confrontation, really doesn't give me any feeling that he cares since he is clean from anything 4 month now. 

Any insight would be a great help to me as i have been haunted by this for months and months now. really don't know what to do. 

Thanks

D

Posted: 09/06/2018 10:20 PM

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