My Contact Info

About Me

Hello...I am going by the name searchin.

I am now 51 years old and darned fortunate to be so. I began using drugs and alcohol at a very young age. I tried several times over my lifespan to stop using without any success. Finally in 2008 I got a DWI and with that came getting alcohol free. I managed to stay off the alcohol but my drug use escalated.

I was using crack and pills and when I couldn't get that I got into methamphetamine. Meth didn't get me high enough so I started using cocaine and meth together. Well, I overdosed.

I was in the bathroom and noticed my legs were getting cold and numb. I sat down on the toilet to shoot up and must have sat there for hours. The bottom half of my body went numb. Of course I was so high that all I could think about was getting higher. The top half of my body fell over the bottom half and I could not raise up. I had to call for my husband to help me. He was only able to lower me to the floor of the bathroom. There I lay for at least two days. Then he dragged me to our bedroom. I lay there for about another week. Of course I was unaware of the days, nights and hours that were passing because I was so high. Oh, but I was having fun, right?

Some seven days later I became unable to breathe and my husband called an ambulance. During the time I lay on the floor my husband kept asking me if I wanted him to call the amblulance but I was high and told him no, repeatedly. So I am lying there gasping for breath and I tell him not to call 911. He couldn't find the actual number for the ambulance and I , in between gasping, tell him I am not going to be able to hold on much longer. Are they here yet, I gasp?

I remember the ambulance crew putting oxygen in my nose and telling me to breathe...They lifted me onto the stretcher. I was numb still and unable to move the lower half of my body.

I was taken to a nearby hospital and was in such peril that they life-flighted me to a larger hospital. I was given less than fifty percent (50) to live through the night. I was placed on a ventilator and of course had multiple intravenous lines in me. I was also taken to dialysis immediately because my kidney's shut down completely. I was on the vent for a week and a half. I didn't move. My family was told I had heart, lung, brain, liver damage, and kidney failure.

I began hearing voices. I could hear my husbands voice and in my mind he was there to save me. I say save because I was in a world other than this. I was being tortured and there was no way out. His voice was bringing me back. I opened my eyes to the sound of my son playing a recording of his two year-old son's voice. He showed me video and pictures of my grandson.

I began the awakening...and was taken off the ventilator. I began eating again and doing dialysis treatments. I was able to talk and some of the feeling began coming back in my legs.

Today I am at home. Physical recovery has been pure hell. But I am no longer using drugs. I can feel pain and am able to walk and talk and think. My worst day clean will never be my worst day on drugs. I have begun my real life.

Today I have my family around me. By choice! I am clearer and remain free of drugs and alcohol. At the time of this writing I have six months clean. I am not on any prescription drugs. I eat as healthy as I can to repair my body and brain. Yes, I think about using and at times I miss that rush. That false life can take a flying leap!

I urge you to talk to me about anything. I have pretty much seen and done about all there is to do when it comes to using. When you think about it it is pretty sad. I only hope that what I have left of my life can be dedicated to family, friends I have made here, and you continuing addicts. I pray I can be of help to some of you.

Have a great day and a bientot! searchin